Vanessa Ray at La Costa

I'm a guy who has a crush on a girl I suspect to be a LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation). She shows all the classic signs. But she's really flirty with me and, of course, never reciprocates when I show interest. I know I should leave it alone, but I can't. What do you think the odds are of her eventually giving in or, at least, us hooking up one drunken night? Should I let her know I'm definitely interested, if and when she switches teams?

I've never heard that the term LUG before, but I'd say that if she likes you, she'll make it clear. Until then, her sexual preferences are none of your business.

How common do you think it is for some people to reach a point in their lives where they're so lonely, they settle for being with someone they probably know isn't right for them? If both people in the relationship are aware of this but don't ever acknowledge it, can it still work? Aren't most long-term relationships just mutual compromise?

Scary! I'm not sure I like this question, either. Sure, people settle down for the “wrong” reasons all the time — how often, I'm not sure. It can still work, but you're right, all relationships are tough! Who would want to have one unless you felt like the person was the right fit for you? Maybe you should get a pet or a friend instead of a spouse.

The company I work for is about to undergo some major downsizing. We're a small business to begin with, so it seems especially wrong-headed and potentially disastrous, not to mention beyond insulting to the departing employees who have always done a good job and are only being let go because of corporate greed or mismanagement. What's the best way to deal with this situation? Quit on principle? Is this just the way of the world now, and we all have to learn to live with it?

I agree this sucks, but that's how it goes in corporate America. Unless you have some cushion in the bank, I wouldn't advice quitting on principle. I would start looking for another job if you are uncomfortable with what is going on or feel like your head may be next on the block.

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